Broken Relationships

Let me start with a very important fact :

Many people know about love but they don't know how to make it work. It is so simple it's hard to explain in words. You can take this example: I have two friends, one was my best friend, we grew up together, it was just lovely and amazing, then three months later we decided to break up, I wasn't aware until that time he had cheated on me, which was not his fault and I was still devastated from the heart because of him. Now in 3 months all I wanted to do, and everyone advised me and told me this story to make me happy again was to keep the relationship strong. Well, I got tired because I still found myself breaking up several times and even now I'm doing it 4 times so there are so many more things to discuss on this topic.

So let me continue with this question :

What are our relationships broken? What are the reasons why our relationships aren't working and do you still believe it can be worked out? What will you do the next time you see an issue and do you know what to expect or what to trust at that moment?

Let's talk about broken relationships and the reasons behind them being over:

Breakups. The most common reason for this type of relationship is not having the right understanding between us. We often find ourselves breaking up because it became obvious that things weren't working out and we both started thinking we were alone. Or there was more than one partner, and also the person broke up. Sometimes we try to talk things out together (we both had already met at least when it happened), sometimes we simply just stop talking about everything we've been through and just move on completely. There is no perfect reason for our breakups, but when it happens, it usually comes down to either of two things:

Anxiety is in play. We often find ourselves anxious thinking we won't be able to fit in or something similar could happen. For instance, if we both moved away and one person would leave us alone and start dating others, we probably wouldn't talk anything else out and we usually end up staying true to ourselves even though we haven't really changed at all. Sometimes it is because of personality issues but at other times life decisions. If there is a possibility that one partner has made his/her interest in another person the person left behind, we usually choose to stay loyal to ourselves and remain single. Not only does it mean we are not ready to start dating anyone else but to say that both partners are not satisfied with themselves would be ignorant.

Some of the reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship with someone can be due to personal development if you have done well in your professional fields etc. But the main reason why we do not want to be with each other is mainly that of feeling unappreciated. One person might feel he/she is always doing it wrong or maybe they feel like they are never appreciated by their loved ones, or that is the only way they get attention at home. Whatever it is, for us, it doesn't matter why; the important thing is that we know we need more appreciation to make us contentful. And why should we change and grow so much? Because if we learn how to appreciate our loved ones, we are no longer going to be constantly unhappy or annoyed with each other.

We can be jealous of our loved ones, it really depends on how we deal with our current issues. They might be jealous of who is doing better in your career, or of what they've achieved. But we shouldn't feel jealousy without understanding the situation and the expectations. So we should accept and understand that while we are in the process of making changes for ourselves, that is not happening and the only thing we need as we learn, is to do a lot of listening to what our loved ones are asking and let others help us through.

The third reason why we don't want to be with each other is that we are afraid of losing. This fear causes us to lose our patience and sometimes our love for each other, and we need each other to overcome this fear and stay calm in order not to lose love. If we did not have love from either of us at first then we would not know what we would do after the relationship ended because of all the arguments. So, we need to understand that we need someone else besides us, or we will end up suffering much and causing a lot of problems because of it. Although sometimes we need to be strong enough to stand on a pedestal to prove that our relationship is not broken sometimes it is okay to accept the disappointment of a change the two of us are undergoing. Instead of accepting the fact that this new relationship is not workable for us, it could be something great to learn and grow through. Otherwise, when things work out without us, we don't want to go back to what broke us. Our fear of loss makes us lose what is there in the relationship, and this could be the biggest problem and cause of a breakup.

Sometimes there are a big number of broken relationships and we often feel frustrated that there are too many problems because to break up with these kinds of relationships, you will always lose at least 1 or 2 of them. So what do you think and the truth behind them being broken? Do you consider them broken or not and are you surprised you are seeing a relationship with those problems when you are trying to grow through it, not getting stronger but through it?

If I had to give advice on how to avoid breaks up I would say to learn ways of being able to communicate in the best possible way, listen to what is being said and just keep in mind the feelings of loved ones, do what they do best and also never leave from your side and never forget that if you feel lost, it is because you deserve it. Never forget that you are worthy of success, learn every day to be able to do whatever you want no one will ever judge it. And most importantly, never, never give up and never try to avoid what makes you happy. Always remember, it takes hard work and the willingness to be grateful towards yourself and to do whatever you want no matter what people tell you, even in your darkest moments.

The last reason that I would like to share is that we do not have strong enough time to support each other even when our lives are pretty dire. Often we give up on each other since we do not understand how or are unable to support one another. Why we don't want to be with each other? Some are ashamed of their pasts, whether it is family issues, not knowing each other well in education, past relationships, or even finances. When we break up with someone we usually end up blaming the other person, or we end up blaming our current partner, or we blame every single mistake we made. These breakdowns all lead us to isolation, depression, shame and loneliness because we feel as though we are not loved anymore. We do not want to carry on living like this anymore. Be selfish and support each other and never make excuses or try to justify your mistakes because there is nothing to learn from it. Do it by forgiving. Stop blaming other people for something when they are the only ones who are responsible for the break-up and the mistakes that might have caused the break-up. Give up blaming other people and stop blaming them for things that in the end they did nothing wrong. Your relationship is not broken because you loved it, it is broken because you didn't do such a terrible job supporting one another. Love is a gift we receive every day of our lives, whether it be yours, another's or our own. That means we have to be patient and stay optimistic because love does not need to come overnight and we must be patient and supportive for it to keep growing with it.

In conclusion, if our break-ups are the least of our problems, as long as we can understand at least the third reason that I mentioned; we can do a lot better the next time we see the other partner. So next time, make sure we take time and listen to what the other partner is saying and always support him/her. And never give up, and start loving and accepting yourself you deserve to.