Good for Nothing

What is good for nothing? Some, like philosophers (and even Aristotle) believe that we are all born with a purposeful mind which directs our actions towards some greater goal. Others believe in a God who guides our lives through the guidance of something higher than us, but either way what we do with our actions is ultimately up to us. Whatever these beliefs may be they will always serve as guidelines on how we should act, not only to get results but also to improve our lives and the lives of other people around us.

So why do we still have so many bad habits as well as becoming addicted to them? Well, there are different reasons for not being able to stop smoking or drinking alcohol; we need to understand them before we can learn how to overcome them. In fact, we are going to give you an example to help you get started down the road of avoiding anything bad. Let’s start by looking at what we consider normal behaviour. And then I will share my view on the root cause or problem of it. So let’s go ahead…

Normal Behaviour

The human brain consists of three parts, neurons (nodes), synapses (connecting devices such as neurotransmitters), and dendritic networks (networks of connections between neurons). The neurons make impulses. These impulses pass along to synapses which produce electrical messages (signals) as the neuron activates itself. If it activates too much this would lead to an attempt at stopping the activity. But if it doesn’t work out, the signal stops the neuron from activating itself. Activation of neurons leads to activation of synapses and back to neurons which again triggers neurons in response. This time the signals stop and the brain continues to produce impulses until someone thinks it has activated itself enough to not react. Thus the activation process stops. Of course, there are things that we don’t control (the weather, food habits, etc.). However, in most cases, we can control the number of things we believe is within our control. If something is good for nothing then that’s not good. It should be considered a mistake on our part to continue to use things that we believe are beyond our control. We should realize that when we think we know what is available within our own control, we actually already know very little. Our knowledge depends on where we think things are within our control.

Let’s look at how we think about our thoughts, their consequences, and what makes us think those things are in our control and those choices are ones we can make. You can use your favourite analogy to explain this concept. Let’s say you are driving. Your brain processes information and starts thinking things are within our control. When you think you are driving slow enough to increase the chances your car will crash and kill you. Similarly, if you think things are within your control, that doesn’t mean you can make decisions that might lead to negative situations. Don’t think everything is controlled in your life, as it usually is not. And remember, when learning any new skill we need to do so without making the worst possible decision. Just as car crashes happen frequently when we make poor decisions. Too often we try to force things into our hands with no intent of using them properly and we end up hurting ourselves and the people around us.

Why am I saying “good for nothing?” Because in real life is very unpredictable, which means sometimes bad decisions must come based on chance and circumstances. Sometimes it’s just pure luck. At times when circumstances dictate nothing one is forced to take actions against his/her wishes just because he or wants to. There isn’t an absolute set standard for making choices. Every person makes every decision based on circumstances surrounding him/her, and I know they usually end up being right. But there are times when everything has to become entirely out of reach. People may often say those bad situations will affect everything we do, but in reality, we don’t make it easy for ourselves. Take a close look at it, is there really a difference between doing what we wish to do and making something we don’t want to do? Is the choice easy when we choose to do something bad for nothing? Yes and no! No one gives us a clear answer on when exactly to do this or when we should do it, but we can say that most people make them just like we do. Bad habits are easily learned, and as long as there are positive aspects of living we can always change them. And for our sake as individuals and as a society we should make sure we are actively working to develop these and not letting these “bad habits” define us. If everyone were constantly doing things they didn’t want to do you couldn’t possibly imagine yourself in another world. By doing these things we build up our image in others, and we give more ammunition to those who want and control our lives to ensure that we remain the best version of ourselves.

The Problem

We have the above discussion about why good or bad behaviours aren’t just the mere consequence of human nature; it’s instead something else that we should strive for, something that goes far beyond our innate capabilities. Here I will tell you about a situation I encountered during my lifetime. One day a friend told me about a girl whose family owned a farm and had their home. She was pregnant with her first child and she would soon be having twins. Her father said they planned to sell all four children to whoever wanted to buy them. His plan had worked out pretty well, however, she gave birth to a boy but left the baby with a leg. My friend went over the story from beginning to conclusion and found out that the family didn’t exactly know which son to keep. Apparently, they decided to mix them up and leave both boys to each parent. Again, this sounds fair but let’s dig a little deeper, is this type of scenario common with anyone? Not everyone? How does knowing this affect our everyday life if we believe we have nothing to do with that? By giving away what we choose to do that we don't have full control of and giving away other's children we gain prestige in others and also power. Are all kids this way? Can everyone be guilty? This can be true, however, I would want to emphasize that it doesn’t matter. All children can be given away but not all of them. Does a child always get what he/she wants? That depends on the personality of the individual and is definitely dependent on whether your life is in some sort of contract or not. It’s important for us adults to remember that children are not all alike, just as humans are not all alike. Children learn how to grow up in many ways, at different rates, differently than adolescents. Adolescents, in particular, grow up quickly and often don't make decisions that allow for growth. They don't make big decisions like this one, but in general, children learn better, they move faster, and sometimes they act impulsively and impetuous. Many parents would probably argue that children always act this way out of impulsivity, and while I won't deny that impulsivity is a key aspect of childhood, it's not the only thing that affects our development of skills. Another explanation that fits into my discussion will be the idea that sometimes we don't decide to do things in advance, because in moments, we become lost in the moment. Often parents don't fully understand this concept, so it's hard to predict. While some of the ways it applies to children most of the time, for teenagers, it may vary. Regardless of its main application, the point stands that the whole of our lives consists of a series of experiences, experiences we cannot fully comprehend, and decisions we cannot fully make. Each of us grows up in unique ways, we learn new skills, develop relationships, and we make new life decisions. Whether we are conscious of that or not is another question altogether. As I mentioned earlier, we have the ability to learn and develop skills in many ways, even though these skills are mostly outside of our control. A simple analogy that makes sense in hindsight of what can be done today is comparing it to having our parents teach us something new that we never knew before. Parents don’t decide when we begin to learn something new, they just show us that there is a certain level of understanding that we must take care of in order to experience it. Although we are aware that this idea may sound simplistic it holds true in many instances.

We need to learn the lessons the world teaches us, not the lessons we learn. By learning the lessons we need to continually teach ourselves, and the lessons we can create, we can live our lives as we want them and leave behind the lessons we learn. We need to learn the lessons of perseverance, patience, empathy, and forgiveness. Those of us who hold steadfast to a religious background (or perhaps who feel compelled to believe we have some kind of god-given grace) need to follow a similar rule. To do otherwise we have trouble focusing our minds and concentrating our energies. All these lessons are lessons we learn throughout life, and they shape our character by teaching us who we are, what we need to be, and how we deal with life experiences. Lessons on humility, forgiveness, compassion and tolerance come later during life. If we learn and apply the lessons we can make the mistakes we make the lesson we become wiser, and we can learn from our mistakes. Unfortunately, these lessons often come after we have made mistakes, but even so, we need to keep pushing forward as we learn to make more so. Through the lens of our actions, we must always put our interests ahead of our desires. Things like saving money.