Discipline

This is one of my friend's stories and I am narrating the story for his part to get to know himself and how things are happening with him here is a part of his story that is attached with my article. 

I was born in a very small home, as a single parent. My father was working at a grocery store so my mother and brother were two boys (one of them was older than 18 years old ). My parents lived in an apartment located in the south part of Canada. I did not know my father because he rarely came home. Although my parents did have a housekeeper — my grandfather and stepfather had their own house. Our family was quite low income because there was no school tuition or fees for education. At that time schools were extremely expensive for most families. We lived with only one toilet which was in front of the kitchen. It was basically nothing more than a shower and toilet. What was even worse, we never ever learned how to properly wash dishes. Oh yeah, the bathroom was pretty much un-clean. But we didn't care. As young boys, we thought everything was fine. However, after finishing high school we entered the Canadian army. The military was a big adjustment for us in terms of learning and discipline. When we returned home my mother began teaching me about being responsible for a household and making the best decisions for my own life. She taught me many aspects of the family and how to make it work, including the importance and value of money, etc. For example, my mother gave us $200 each month, every year, as a token of appreciation. In those days if you wanted a car you needed that extra money, so if we wanted a vehicle we could only afford one vehicle — the Jeep Cherokee. Of course, my mother also taught me about financial literacy and saving. This was something I did not know or understood at all. In fact, she taught me through her words (with her advice) that everything can be difficult. However, we were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to use these skills as a family unit. After graduating from high school our father joined the navy and my brothers and sister joined the air force.

In these places, education and discipline both seemed to have almost no connection. Everything we went through — from attending university and college to having schooling and careers, we did it without much knowledge or skills of discipline or any sort. Not to mention the lack of discipline. With the help of my mother and my younger brother who was 20, we studied and worked out ways of becoming disciplined. 

Discipline

The word "disciplined" is made up of two words. This does not mean that there is some formal training, certification of some kind, or anything like that. Rather, an individual follows a specific lifestyle and ways of living which includes techniques, ideas, beliefs and goals, which lead to improvement. These practices and approaches must be consistently practised by people and they must be followed systematically by them and by others. These behaviours help one become a better version of yourself and can create a great future. If you want to know more about personal development and growth then learn more about the strategies in this article here. Additionally, I suggest reading related articles here: How we Are Becoming More Disciplined

Disciplined Is Better Than Bad

Disciplined Can Be Your Greatest Asset!

Disciplined Life And A Proper Education Starts From Early Childhood

Disciplined Leaders Develop Strong Attitudes

You Do Not Need To Get Back To College To Become A Masterful Man

Disciplined Children Exercise Their Imagination: The Key For Children

Disciplined Parents Have Less Time On Family Risks

Disciplined Children Avoid Negative Behavior

Disciplined Students Earn Higher Grades

What Happened To You?

Disciplined People Practice Meditation And Yoga & Relaxation

Disciplines Help Creativity - Creative Inquiry Thinking

Disciplines Build Confidence And Energy For Success

Disciplines Improve Personal Health: Find Out Why They Matter

Let's discuss each of the topics discussed above separately. Then I will go into the main concept and why I am interested in this subject and all other subjects including business, relationships and personal development. Finally, I will recap all the content and my takeaways based on some basic principles/tips and I hope you will enjoy reading and following my journey of disciplining myself, my family and friends by practising mindfulness, practising gratitude and writing down everything as I do.

Disciplines are Easy to Understand

Even a child who does not know anything will understand that there is no such thing as bad discipline or bad behaviour. Everyone learns the same kinds of behavioural patterns and they all play a role in improving self-discipline with practice and proper supervision (if done right). For example, adults learn the skill of stress reduction, relaxation and anger management on a subconscious level. Children learn how to do these skills faster or slower than adults do.

The first thing you need to understand and practice is the principle of acceptance and forgiveness. Acceptance means that we know that things cannot change. Forgiveness means accepting the situation and moving on with what is important.

Another key principle of discipline is a discipline in time. Many successful leaders, athletes and entrepreneurs follow a strict routine and schedule which helps them improve and stay focused. For anyone who has been practising self-discipline, this principle applies to everyday life as well. Let's discuss how we manage our time wisely and in line with this principle here:

We often spend too much time watching the news, TV and other media channels. Every day we read what people say, which leads us to increase the amount of time we listen to what they tell us. Also because as we watch and read more, we start focusing more on what will happen if…, and less on what to do and what is possible. So, it becomes easier for us to remain busy and stressed.

Sometimes we forget important things around us. We lose track of things and things are missing from our calendars and plans. Sometimes things we don't want to hear, so we put our phone out of order and ignore calls. That is when there's no peace of mind and our focus goes crazy. When we forget important things, we tend to think that life is not that bad. We start thinking that we are still living in a capitalist society where people use money for everything. Well, I would want to remind everyone (including children) and especially children that the real way to live is to stop thinking in terms of money and stop dreaming about money. Think instead about your health, happiness, creativity, and what type of foods you eat. Start spending more time exercising your creative brain, taking vacations and eating healthy. Now, let's recap the principle I just described: do all that I did to improve my self-discipline. In addition to the principles I will go over, there are some common ones you should keep in mind, such as awareness and acceptance, forgiveness, mindfulness and time management. Of course, staying alert to what my dear readers may ask me to do more.

I recently read an article from Scientific American titled “Self-Discipline” which says that we tend to be self-disciplined when we observe ourselves and the world around us. When we see someone else (especially our partners), we start feeling guilty and resenting them. By this, we start developing unhealthy habits that are neither helpful nor desirable. So, we turn to behaviours that bring attention and encouragement. Such a relationship would help us to avoid negative thoughts and feelings. Here is an interesting paragraph on “Self-Disciplines”: “We tend to feel good about ourselves when we do those things we believe we know how to do, such as walking a dog or playing with kids, for example. Yet, we can actually get lazy about doing these things and we feel guilty. When we are able to observe ourselves and others and pay attention, we can make that observation an excuse not to engage in other types of behaviours, such as smoking weed or drinking alcohol. One way to deal with that kind of shame and guilt is to train ourselves to accept ourselves and those around us as they are. Only then can we gain self-disciplined behaviour.” If we practice self-discipline and learn to observe ourselves and others as they are and start paying attention to what they are doing, we can take action that leads to desired outcomes, such as:

Do what you love

You have no idea how hard this concept sounds for us. All we need is simply to decide to pay attention to ourselves. Or, we can simply observe our environment carefully, to notice what is happening around us. Even a baby knows what a baby looks like. Just pay attention to your baby and notice what he does in his arms, legs, hands and feet. Watch him, walk around him while he runs or swims — whatever he wants to do. Don't try to resist — when he pulls himself together and puts his hand on the door, you can always feel like he is trying to pull it together. He has so many muscles and uses all the ones of his brain. Make sure to check out the Baby Steps video that shows us exactly what he looks like and how to apply this principle.