Discipline
This is one of my friend's stories and I am narrating the story for his part to get to know himself and how things are happening with him here is a part of his story that is attached with my article.
I was born in a very small home, as a single parent. My father
was working at a grocery store so my mother and brother were two boys (one of
them was older than 18 years old ). My parents lived in an apartment located in
the south part of Canada. I did not know my father because he rarely came home.
Although my parents did have a housekeeper — my grandfather and stepfather had their own house. Our family was quite low income because there was no
school tuition or fees for education. At that time schools were extremely
expensive for most families. We lived with only one toilet which was in front
of the kitchen. It was basically nothing more than a shower and toilet. What
was even worse, we never ever learned how to properly wash dishes. Oh yeah, the
bathroom was pretty much un-clean. But we didn't care. As young boys, we
thought everything was fine. However, after finishing high school we entered
the Canadian army. The military was a big adjustment for us in terms of
learning and discipline. When we returned home my mother began teaching me
about being responsible for a household and making the best decisions for my
own life. She taught me many aspects of the family and how to make it work,
including the importance and value of money, etc. For example, my mother gave
us $200 each month, every year, as a token of appreciation. In those days if
you wanted a car you needed that extra money, so if we wanted a vehicle we
could only afford one vehicle — the Jeep Cherokee. Of course, my mother also
taught me about financial literacy and saving. This was something I did not
know or understood at all. In fact, she taught me through her words (with her
advice) that everything can be difficult. However, we were fortunate enough to
have the opportunity to use these skills as a family unit. After graduating
from high school our father joined the navy and my brothers and sister joined
the air force.
In these places, education and discipline both seemed to have
almost no connection. Everything we went through — from attending university and college to having schooling and careers, we did it without much
knowledge or skills of discipline or any sort. Not to mention the lack of
discipline. With the help of my mother and my younger brother who was 20, we
studied and worked out ways of becoming disciplined.
Discipline
The word "disciplined" is made up of two words. This does not mean that there is some formal training, certification of some kind, or
anything like that. Rather, an individual follows a specific lifestyle and ways
of living which includes techniques, ideas, beliefs and goals, which lead to
improvement. These practices and approaches must be consistently practised by
people and they must be followed systematically by them and by others. These
behaviours help one become a better version of yourself and can create a great
future. If you want to know more about personal development and growth then
learn more about the strategies in this article here. Additionally, I suggest
reading related articles here: How we Are Becoming More Disciplined
Disciplined Is Better Than Bad
Disciplined Can Be Your Greatest Asset!
Disciplined Life And A Proper Education Starts From Early
Childhood
Disciplined Leaders Develop Strong Attitudes
You Do Not Need To Get Back To College To Become A Masterful Man
Disciplined Children Exercise Their Imagination: The Key For
Children
Disciplined Parents Have Less Time On Family Risks
Disciplined Children Avoid Negative Behavior
Disciplined Students Earn Higher Grades
What Happened To You?
Disciplined People Practice Meditation And Yoga & Relaxation
Disciplines Help Creativity - Creative Inquiry Thinking
Disciplines Build Confidence And Energy For Success
Disciplines Improve Personal Health: Find Out Why They Matter
Let's discuss each of the topics discussed above separately.
Then I will go into the main concept and why I am interested in this subject
and all other subjects including business, relationships and personal development.
Finally, I will recap all the content and my takeaways based on some basic
principles/tips and I hope you will enjoy reading and following my journey of
disciplining myself, my family and friends by practising mindfulness,
practising gratitude and writing down everything as I do.
Disciplines are Easy to Understand
Even a child who does not know anything will understand that
there is no such thing as bad discipline or bad behaviour. Everyone learns the
same kinds of behavioural patterns and they all play a role in improving
self-discipline with practice and proper supervision (if done right). For
example, adults learn the skill of stress reduction, relaxation and anger
management on a subconscious level. Children learn how to do these skills
faster or slower than adults do.
The first thing you need to understand and practice is the
principle of acceptance and forgiveness. Acceptance means that we know that
things cannot change. Forgiveness means accepting the situation and moving on
with what is important.
Another key principle of discipline is a discipline in time. Many
successful leaders, athletes and entrepreneurs follow a strict routine and
schedule which helps them improve and stay focused. For anyone who has been
practising self-discipline, this principle applies to everyday life as well.
Let's discuss how we manage our time wisely and in line with this principle
here:
We often spend too much time watching the news, TV and other media
channels. Every day we read what people say, which leads us to increase the
amount of time we listen to what they tell us. Also because as we watch and
read more, we start focusing more on what will happen if…, and less on what to
do and what is possible. So, it becomes easier for us to remain busy and
stressed.
Sometimes we forget important things around us. We lose track of
things and things are missing from our calendars and plans. Sometimes things we
don't want to hear, so we put our phone out of order and ignore calls. That is
when there's no peace of mind and our focus goes crazy. When we forget
important things, we tend to think that life is not that bad. We start thinking
that we are still living in a capitalist society where people use money for
everything. Well, I would want to remind everyone (including children) and especially
children that the real way to live is to stop thinking in terms of money and
stop dreaming about money. Think instead about your health, happiness,
creativity, and what type of foods you eat. Start spending more time exercising
your creative brain, taking vacations and eating healthy. Now, let's recap the
principle I just described: do all that I did to improve my self-discipline.
In addition to the principles I will go over, there are some common ones you
should keep in mind, such as awareness and acceptance, forgiveness, mindfulness
and time management. Of course, staying alert to what my dear readers may ask
me to do more.
I recently read an article from Scientific American titled
“Self-Discipline” which says that we tend to be self-disciplined when we
observe ourselves and the world around us. When we see someone else (especially
our partners), we start feeling guilty and resenting them. By this, we start
developing unhealthy habits that are neither helpful nor desirable. So, we turn
to behaviours that bring attention and encouragement. Such a relationship would
help us to avoid negative thoughts and feelings. Here is an interesting
paragraph on “Self-Disciplines”: “We tend to feel good about ourselves when we
do those things we believe we know how to do, such as walking a dog or playing
with kids, for example. Yet, we can actually get lazy about doing these things
and we feel guilty. When we are able to observe ourselves and others and pay
attention, we can make that observation an excuse not to engage in other types
of behaviours, such as smoking weed or drinking alcohol. One way to deal with
that kind of shame and guilt is to train ourselves to accept ourselves and
those around us as they are. Only then can we gain self-disciplined behaviour.”
If we practice self-discipline and learn to observe ourselves and others as
they are and start paying attention to what they are doing, we can take action
that leads to desired outcomes, such as:
Do what you love
You have no idea how hard this concept sounds for us. All we
need is simply to decide to pay attention to ourselves. Or, we can simply
observe our environment carefully, to notice what is happening around us. Even
a baby knows what a baby looks like. Just pay attention to your baby and notice
what he does in his arms, legs, hands and feet. Watch him, walk around him
while he runs or swims — whatever he wants to do. Don't try to resist — when he
pulls himself together and puts his hand on the door, you can always feel like
he is trying to pull it together. He has so many muscles and uses all the ones
of his brain. Make sure to check out the Baby Steps video that shows us exactly
what he looks like and how to apply this principle.
