Actions speak louder than words

There exists a phenomenon we often face in our daily life. We often hear people say “Do you want me to do this,” or “Do I need to do that,” etc. But are these statements necessary for our lives? Do they really make us happy and satisfied? Let’s take an example of when someone said “do I know what my dream is” and asked “would you like it if your dream was this exact thing?” to which the answer “no I don’t know what it would be” was given. This question doesn’t even ask the question. It just creates a situation without a clear answer. In most cases, it leads us into doing something and not understanding why we actually do it. Even though doing things may have benefits, the questions are usually wrong at first glance.

The words create confusion because we hear them more from others than we realize, but the action itself seems pointless. That’s why many times we let our ideas go through the air and start living by them. And even after spending time thinking about something, we still end up acting on them as if it were the greatest idea. As one can probably guess, we let ourselves live in fear. Not all of us follow this rule and there are always ways and possibilities to avoid it. But why does it happen? Why does this behavior exist and is it important to change it? The short answer: because it’s easier to find things to do. Here is a list of some actions we do when we talk about our dreams:

You start talking about your dream every day to others. Some days you say something along with what you think would be the best idea at the moment, other days you tell people you would like to talk about it for a while and eventually decide to do it, but the process starts again. So many times we give new things to people who say “we will talk about your dream” to us. They never listen because they are afraid to tell us anything about themselves.

you start talking about yourself and others. You stop talking to everyone because someone changed their mind about your dream and didn’t get to listen to you anymore. Then, they started making things bigger than you and talking behind closed doors. Now you can hear them complaining about the way they feel about you. You will start to believe that everything you do will hurt your future.

when you stop talking about your dream and start believing that everyone has changed their minds about the same thing, you might start to forget how powerful your ability may become from such a small amount of time starting something. If you stop talking and start believing that everything happens for us, then only those who told you not to do so are getting disappointed in you. Only then will people start showing concern for you.

you start hearing people talking behind the camera. You hear lots of stories telling you that others can do it much easier than you. Then maybe you believe you are too old for everything and the story you heard. Or maybe you learned how to manage the situation to stop them and even end up getting upset because they don’t care about the fact that you are in front of a camera and talking to their audience in front of you.

you start going out and watching porn, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and sometimes other things. People start asking you to do things, asking you on dates or asking you through messages or sometimes phone calls asking if you would like to do things.

you start listening every single time you talk about your dream and then start thinking they are crazy. You stop giving advice to others and start trying to help them when they are stuck in situations we don’t even understand yet. When they get stuck and the person they are helping does not show any interest in them, you start feeling sorry for them. One day you ask a friend “what did I do wrong?” and he responds that everything you told him/her was stupid. It makes you feel bad for them, angry and sad. Your friends have no idea how hard it is to get away when you hear things that they shouldn’t hear.

you stop helping others and start focusing on yourself. When you stop helping others and start focusing on yourself, it can feel hard to move forward and do stuff. Especially if it’s something you truly want to do but you don’t know why you shouldn’t do it. Sometimes you say things to people where they have no right to do so, even if they tell you something that is not true or what you don’t know would be better for their own life.

you start comparing everyone else to you and start wondering why you aren’t as successful as them. There are different people around you, different schools of thought, and you start comparing yourself to them and others. When someone tells you it’s not possible, you try to prove it as being a victim or a hopeless fool. You’ll start comparing yourself to other people and maybe even comparing your dreams to theirs more than the person you really want to be.

you start seeing every problem with other people not as problems but as excuses and then start blaming them for it. You start blaming other people for whatever they did or did not do. For example, instead of asking for forgiveness when you know that it wasn’t the reason you didn’t ask for forgiveness before or didn’t get it at all, you choose to blame the person who did not get his/her goal at the fault.

you start thinking that you are not worthy of some success in your dreams or dreams. Instead of fighting for your dreams and working hard, you start thinking everyone gives you a pat on the back and says “how dare you” or something like that. These thoughts create insecurity, so they start turning to people who make them jealous.

you start taking credit for certain achievements as proof that you deserve them and start wondering who did or didn’t do them. You can even question why the people who did achieve these things were able to achieve them and wonder who on earth was responsible for the accomplishment. You will always wonder who could have done these things.

you start questioning everything around you, including family and friends. You start questioning how things are supposed to be this way and why others can achieve them if they are not. You start wondering whether you are not capable to reach your goals. When you know someone has achieved something, you constantly compare them and wonder if they are good enough and worthwhile.

when you start wondering why the past or what happened in previous years cannot affect your dreams, you start building resentment towards those who achieved what you wanted. You start considering yourself as having failed and not getting anything done. Because you know that you have done nothing for all that time, things started changing.

you keep trying to achieve more and more and then there are so many reasons why you weren’t able to achieve it and why you should stop. You start becoming resentful of what someone else accomplished and start thinking that you are not worthy. You start thinking you are too old, or that you’re not as smart or talented, etc. You start wishing someone else had done more or that it had been easier for you than it turned out.

you stop reading books or magazines. You always read new news or start scrolling through social media but you stopped reading books or magazines. Maybe you started sleeping less so you won’t be able to get a lot of sleep.

you start keeping track of others. You put notes on everyone’s cell phones. You put pictures into everyone’s folders. Everything else you used to keep separate from everyone’s possessions. Remember, the past is gone, so anything left is just memories.

you stop thinking that anyone can do what you try to do or that nobody wants to hear your story because even the smallest of acts of kindness can make someone remember you. You might start thinking a large part of what you do isn’t important and you might start losing motivation and start giving fewer gifts every year.

You start missing meetings with colleagues — people that you share goals with. People who aren’t aligned with your vision might start looking down on you. At work, you might start wondering if it’s okay when somebody asks you to start planning your next project or if you are not respected as you used to be. You start acting annoyed all the time and don’t talk about what you were planning on doing.

you stop thinking that you are being selfish. You start putting people above yourself. You start wondering how you are not getting what you deserve and where all the gratitude from what people do not show. You start finding faults in everyone around you. People start questioning your judgment. It’s important to remember that your judgment is very limited.

you stop thinking about your dreams and start starting dreaming of ones that you want to do next. You get used to these images and start wondering how you got on them. You start worrying about people around you and start thinking that they are following your dream. You start wondering how you know your dreams are achievable. You start imagining dreams that do not exist and start questioning them more.

you start thinking your dreams are unattainable and start waiting until you think they will feel realistic and start thinking of different ways to accomplish them. You start waiting for different things to happen so that things can go on and you can get better at them. You start doing things you love like travel and self-improvement. You keep thinking of what comes after traveling and then start fantasizing about what you could do after.